


Note on the back of a coffee cup

by Keeblo



Series: Basically the best couple in all of the land [12]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coffee Shop/Cafe AU, College AU, Karkat fucks a lot of people, M/M, Re-vamp, Rewrite, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1917279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keeblo/pseuds/Keeblo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you're an art minor and one of the models for your class is extremely hot and also friends with your roommate? You leave then sticky notes when you go drink coffee at the cafe they work at, duh. AKA the Dave Strider guide to winning the affections of your very own John Egbert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's the thing. About one year ago my bro Dianna gave me this idea to write a fic about John working at a coffee shop/cafe during college. Dave lives with Karkat (Carcin) and they all go to NYU or something of that sort and Dave and John end up liking each other or some such thing. The ever so terrible originial is https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9230255/1/Note-on-the-Back-of-a-Coffee-Cup if you want to read that (which it's pretty damn shitty, seriously) and I'll be going off of the original idea with some of the same things in that one such as classes and some appearances. Anyway, a quick actual note is that troll names will likely be changed unless I seriously can't think of one or am just too lazy. Shrug.

_His mouth is on you, everywhere it seems, and you can't find the breath to speak as you look down to watch his lips slide over your skin. He smiles up at you with brown eyes and a grin that could kill. His lips move as if he's going to say something._

"Wake the fuck up you moron." You stare confused as he continues to kiss your skin.

"Wake the fuck up before I piss in your bed."

You jerk awake, mildly dazed with saliva on the hand that had been propping your head up. "Huh, what?" You take your hand away from your mouth and wipe it on your jeans with a grumble so you can rub your eyes tiredly without spit getting in them.

"I said wake the fuck up. So now that you're awake change into something better than that." Carcin glares at you with his arms crossed; his eyebrows are knitted and he doesn't look all too pleased, but then again when does he ever?

"'M up, 'm up Jesus," you bite out and lean forward against the desk as you try to shake the sleep from your system. You don't remember why you had fallen asleep there but who the fuck cares anyway.

"And don't you fucking dare jack off near my shit because I swear to god I will castrate you, friend or not." The threat bounces around in your head and you turn your head to look at the Iranian in confusion before you start to notice the relatively uncomfortable strain on your crotch.

"Would you look at that? I hope it's a pony." Carcin sighs heavily in frustration, a hand coming up to his forehead with an audible thunk.

"Just keep your dirty mitts off of my shit. I don't know why you can't just use your own god damn desk to study. You know, in YOUR room." Halfheartedly, you slip on your shades and run your fingers through your hair.

"Because there are monsters in my closet. And your room is perfectly fine for me to study in. I mean seriously, it's god damn paradise in here. Alert the wolves and the religious nuts because we've finally found paradise."

"The only thing in your closet is your scared sexuality. God, I hate you so much Strider, you can't even begin to comprehend the hate that I have towards you." You stand and pick up your things, shrugging to Carcin's words.

"Whoa man, take me out on a date or two first before you start telling me about all of the emotions you harbor for me. And no hands below the waist." You point two fingers at your shades then at Carcin in an 'I'm watching you' fashion. "Anyway, I'll go do that thing where you run water and get clean according to people who smell good. And I promise not to jizz all over your half of the shower." As you leave Carcin is huffing up a storm behind you. You're pretty sure he's doing some elaborate crab dance of anger and flipping you off. Oh well.

You head to your room to toss your laptop and notebook onto your bed before heading towards the bathroom. Well, while you're horny you might as well help take down the circus tent that is your jeans.

Once the water is running at a relatively warm temperature and you're sure you've got a towel, you double check that the door is locked and strip down. The first step under the water makes you jump - like always - but it's hot and it feels pretty nice as you close the shower curtain.

For starters, you wet all of your hair. You then proceed to slather it in strawberry scented shampoo until the suds are well down and in your eyes. It burns like the coming of the anti-Christ but you can slick your hair back and put a single spike in your hair like Alfafa. Because you are exactly like him in every way obviously. Save eating a cat litter sandwich...and a lot of other things. Sue you.

When you feel like your desire to re-enact Little Rascals has ebbed and you can proceed with your shower, you rinse out your hair with clinched eyes and an open mouth. Which, okay, not a great idea if you don't want at least a little bit of shampoo in your mouth. It's not that bad though. It could be worse.

Giving your shampoo an unwanted tasting aside, you get conditioner into your hair and step out of the spray enough that it won't rinse out your hair just yet. Ah yes, time to tackle your raging fucking boner.

"Looks like it's just me and you Skippy."

"PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE NOT TALKING TO YOUR DICK AGAIN." Carcin's voice scares the shit out of you and you wonder what he's doing down on your end of the apartment.

"So what if I am? What are you even doing down here?" Roommates suck ass sometimes.

"You left your phone in my room." The voice is just as loud, but closer this time. Probably shorty mc shortstein standing outside the door.

"Whatever. Unless you wanna hear me recite sonnets to my dick I suggest you go away." You can barely make out the shuffle of feet as your roommate likely heeds your warning. "You and me again huh?" You stare down at your erection with a bemused expression. It's flushed and swollen and apparently going down but you're having none of that. Not tonight.

After another moment of staring down your arousal, you take it into your hand and squeeze the shaft, defaulting to jerking it like any old boring guy. After a few minutes, the swell of pleasure in your groin reaches its climax and you come with the barest extra huff of air.

Now that that's done.

You step back under the spray so you can rinse semen off of your person. Washing moves quickly after that and you're soon out of the shower in your towel. You leave your clothes on the floor without really thinking about it and grab your shades as you exit the bathroom so you can move to your room a few steps away on the opposite and end of the hall.

The temperature of your room causes your skin to break out in goose bumps as you open the door. You kind of want to photograph it or draw it or something of that sort but decide against it so you can get clothes on and finally head out. It was your last day off after all.

The thought both thrills you and makes you anxious.

Sighing minutely, you unwrap your towel from around your waist so you can put it on your head where you move it around furiously until your hair is no longer dripping.

A knock coming from down the hall makes you pause.

You give it a moment and listen to the knocking continue until you're sure Carcin isn't going to answer, so you leave your room and head down the hall before turning and opening the door.

"Yeah? Oh dude what are you doing out there?" Carcin gives you one look before herding you back into the apartment.

"Why did you answer the door naked?" You shrug and leave your towel to hang off of your head.

"Who doesn't want to see Strider slong?"

"Me," Carcin grumbles out just before he sighs. "Go get dressed you shit stain."

"Your hate boner is showing again dude." You barely get a chance to admire (and make fun of) Carcin's ears and forehead flush under a mop of dark curls before you're turning and walking back to your room.

Once back in your own space and not threatening anyone with the potential to in fact see your slong, you dry off the rest of the way and wrestle yourself into suitable outside clothing. Which is essentially jeans and a long sleeved tee under a sweat shirt.

You notice your phone on your bed next to the other things that had haphazardly been thrown onto it and pick it up, checking the time. It shows that it's nearly six pm.

"Guess I better not leave my date waiting any longer." You pocket your phone and grab your wallet as well as a few other things because who knew what would happen. After pulling on a pair of socks, you leave your room again and walk to the end of the hall where it opens up into the living room, entrance way, and kitchen area.

"Ready sweetheart?" You look up to see Carcin on the couch lacing his shoes. You check your phone again after you've got your own shoes on.

"Oh definitely, cupcake." The Iranian rolls his eyes and ties his scarf. "You got your keys?" You pat your pockets and nod. "Alright. Let's take this train wreck to the outside world."

"Hell yeah, shit's about to go down." You follow your roommate out of the apartment and down two flights of stairs to the entrance of the building where you two promptly exit into the chilly November air.

"So, where exactly are you taking us?" You look over to see Carcin with his head tucked down into his scarf and his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Coffee place slash cafe sort of thing."

"Oh shit no way. Totally not like I go to any of those at all ever."

"Shut up you literal piece of dog shit-"

"Oh, harsh."

"Stop. And it's not all fancy like Starbucks okay? It's actually got decent fucking coffee and I know the people who work there. So under my stern hand and overall vast more knowledge about shit like this, I'm introducing you to them."

"So what do I gain from this other than scaring your friends? Which, I thought I was your only friend. I'm slightly offended." You follow Carcin over a crosswalk so you can get to the other side of the street.

"You are seriously the most insufferable prick I have ever had the disdain of knowing, and that's saying a lot because basically everyone I know is a prick of some sort, but I think you'll actually like some of them. There's even a guy who rivals your douche baggy-ness. Plus one of them is an art minor as well and I'm pretty sure you're going to love him more than you love overly processed piss in a bottle."

"You cut me deep man. I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover from this. Tell my bro he's the lamest and that I accidently ran over his dog." You sift your hand through your damp hair - not really a fun idea in this weather - and try to ignore the slight spark of interest at the mention of someone with a same minor as you.

Carcin's eyebrows knit again and a few puffs of air pass in front of him as he speaks. "Jesus Christ Dave, calm down. Remind me not to comment on your lame obsession with apple juice again."

The rest of the walk to the ultimate mystery coffee place that is 'way better than Starbucks you hipster garbage dump' is a relatively silent and cold one.

By the time they actually get to the place it's about 6:08 and you've had just about as much as you can take of the New York weather for one evening.

It's nice, you admit. The interior is full of nice earthy tones, the walls a subdued yellow, while the logo is red. And it smells pretty nice too, though it's pretty empty as fuck.

While off in your own little world of looking around, Carcin manages to get to the counter still without removing his ugly ass scarf. You follow him after a beat to make it look intentional, purposely keeping it casual, and join him at the counter. Leaning against it, you get the full coffee barrage of smells and the bright sight of a shapely girl and attractive guy duo.

"So this is the guy I was talking about. The hipster douche." The girl looks at you first, her grin wide and her hair just as. Seriously. It's dark and curly like Carcin's, but it's on an entirely different level of out there. Amusedly, you wonder if you could convince the Iranian to grow his out that long.

"So you're Dave huh? Hold still mister cool guy so I can give you a proper first greeting hug!" The girl nearly bounces around the counter until she's in front of you with her arms stretched - you seriously thought she was taller - and she hugs you. Full on body touching body. All of the jewelry she's wearing jangles a bit and you kind of wonder how none of it is caught in her hair.

"Oh yeah man this is it, I can feel it, my soul mate." You ironically lift her off the ground to twirl her a bit and she laughs brightly. You're a bit flushed after putting her back down (as well as you're pretty sure some of her hair got into your mouth) and the girl pushes her pink glasses up her nose with another bubble of laughter.

"I think I felt it too, Mr. Strider. It is reely true that you and I are meant to b-e!" The girl bounces a bit on her toes with her arms up in the air.

"The enthusiasm is much appreciated." You give a polite smile as she returns to her position behind the counter.

"Oh, right! So I'm Feebi, but everyone just calls me Fef for short." You nod in acknowledgement to her head tilt and lip pucker. She's pretty cute you guess.

Carcin finally joins the party again, that stupid scarf hanging off of his shoulders rather than trying to eat him. Obviously that's what it does.

"And that's Jake. He's actually like what, 35 or some shit? I dunno but he's the only actual adult here." You turn your head to the fairly attractive guy with bright green eyes and a smile that kind of creeps you out.

"As he said, name's Jake, Jake English. It's a pleasure chum!" You take the guys outstretched hand to shake, all the while wondering what's up with his not from America dialect but definitely American accent. His grip is firm and warm as he inclines his chin.

"Yeah, you too."

"Great. Everyone's getting along and I'm still fighting hypothermia, so can we get along with the coffee please?" You roll your eyes behind your shades at Carcin's completely unabashed forwardness.

"Right, the usual?" Fef is already typing into the cash register as Carcin nods. "And what about you Mr. Cool Guy?"

"Black coffee is fine."

"Oh of course. Only the most strong and manly coffee for the cool guys." Fef grins and winks, fingers pressing onto the cash register again.

"You're paying." Carcin's voice comes from across the large room where he sits lounging in a booth.

"O-kay then." You pull out your wallet and pay Fef the amount due, joining your roommate at the booth after.

"John here?" Carcin speaks up again so you look up but he's talking back towards the counter again.

Jake pipes up before Fef can get in a word, "Just went out for a phone call actually, right before you came in. I believe it's his father. He should be back soon." Carcin simply nods and huddles back against the booth's seat. You listen to the sounds of coffee being made to distract you.

After a few minutes, Jake comes over to the table with two coffee cups and sets them in front of you and Carcin. You mumble a thanks and take the beige cup between your hands.

"Take it from someone with experience: give that shit a few minutes. I wasn't smart the first time I came in to get coffee and I'm pretty sure I still have a scar on my tongue from that." He motions vaguely towards the cups with his fingers.

"Then I guess I'll let that cool because the fires of Sauron are going to feast on my tongue if I don't. I'm gonna go have a smoke. Wanna join?" A side to side flop of curly hair is your only answer, so you slide out of the booth and step outside.

You kind of feel like a dick for smoking when there are a shit ton of people around but you also really don't care. So you pull out the pack from your pocket and light up before taking a slow drag, back touching the wall of the coffee place.

For a second you simply relish the familiar almost tingle of nicotine in your throat and chest before exhaling. God knows what Bro would do if he found out you'd picked up on his habit. Probably more than just a strife and a look of stern brotherly disapproval. You shake your head to rid it of the thoughts, taking another inhalation from the cigarette as you watch people walk by.

It's kind of weird knowing that you can see all of them and they'd never know. While you always know when someone's eyes flit to you and stare. It isn't an uncommon thing by far, but you've learned to live with it.

The chilly air brings in an almost refreshing feeling to your body as you breathe in, cigarette between your index and middle finger as they rest on your thigh. Different from the hot sting of the nicotine, it's almost soothing. You take another drag and breathe out nearly right after. The white smoke curls past your lips and up before catching in the wind and seemingly dissolving away. At least it had an aesthetic coming out.

After a few minutes you go back inside after having stubbed the thing out and flicked it into a nearby trashcan. Carcin looks like a hermit in his oversized coat and scarf. Apparently he hadn't moved since you left. When you sit down his eyes blink open for a moment and he gives you a bit of an annoyed look before they close again and he reaches for his drink.

"I'll take that as a 'Go right ahead and drink your coffee that I made you pay for Dave' because you know best and if this burns me know that I'm cutting your dick off and hanging it on my wall Vantas." That sparks Carcin to look at you again and scowl.

You reach for your cup as well and bring it to rest just below your lower lip. There's still steam rising out of it in a way that makes you a bit wary. Since when has heat bothered you anyway? So you go for it and take a sip.

"Holy fucking Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." You nearly toss the cup back onto the table, but manage to just aggressively set it down. The tip of your tongue feels singed and you glare at your roommate as much as you can while your eyes water up and your shades block his view.

You press you hand over your mouth like it will somehow help. It doesn't. But Carcin is nice enough to say something or do a code hand signal that means bring me ice now because suddenly someone is handing you ice and patting your shoulder.

You take the ice quickly and stick it straight into your mouth without any thought, which may not have been the best idea. It's large and difficult to keep at the front of your mouth so you chew that mother fucking polar ice cap into submission which is your code for a million tiny pieces that you can actually sort of press to the front of your mouth.

"You did not just chew ice. You did not just fucking chew ice like it was nothing in front of me." Your roommate's voice startles you into zoning back into the real world. You shrug. It was a pretty damn normal thing people did. Or so you thought. Carcin makes a series of intricate hand motions at the person who handed you ice, all the while his mouth pressed tightly into a straight line.

"That was pretty hardcore if you ask me." The words come from the person standing beside you so you turn to see who your knight in shining armor is to see a (holy hot damn bone me now) guy. Your eyebrows raise and you accidently swallow about half the ice in an uncomfortable mass.

Don't think about what his dick looks like. Don't think about him bending you over this table and fucking you. Don't think about how fucking attractive he is. Holy hot damn Bro didn't train me for this.

You make a slightly pained sound as you stare at the guy. In that time you are minutely aware that your savior (please let me suck your dick as a reward) looks a bit like Jake, though younger.

His eyes are a ridiculously bright shade of blue and his eyelashes are the curled kind from what you can tell. The glasses he wears have dark arms and have a rectangular shape. They sit on his nose, which is at least to some degree crooked and he's tan in November and he's got a few sparse freckles under his eyes (I'm going to find and lick all of his freckles, no he can lick mine, we can lick each other’s at the same time). Jesus, why are you even thinking about these things, let alone noticing them because you're pretty sure you look stupid staring at this guy.

Carcin clearing his throat causes you to jump in your seat and look away, trying to keep you expressions and bodily reactions under strict control.

"Thanks John. Dave's kind of really stupid so you'll have to excuse him for being a gigantic fucking moron." Carcin meets your gaze and you flip the bird at him. If it wasn't for your scalding tongue and the ice basically completely melted in your mouth, you'd have chewed him out good.

"Heh, it's no problem. Happens to me all the time so no worries. So you're Dave right? Carcin talks about you a lot." John scratches the back of his head with a large grin directed between you and your roommate. Even his teeth are attractive, how is that even a thing that's remotely possible???

"I do not so get off of your high horse Dave. In fact, shoot that horse and sell its meat because you won't be getting any compliments from me anytime soon. And John, no. Stop. I do not 'talk about Dave' a lot." You roll your eyes at the words. John seems to think the appropriate answer is to do the exact same and sit beside you, nudging you with his hip until you move and give him room.

"You do too. It's always 'wow Dave did this' or 'Dave is so dumb, he's always walking around naked' or 'Dave kept me up rapping again' or my favorite 'my roommate really needs to get laid, maybe that'd shut him up, I should totally frick Dave because he's so handsome swoon'." John starts laughing loudly, his whole body shaking as Carcin attempts to claw him from across the table.

"I fucking hate you Egbert, you're going to die." The Iranian sets his drink down, edging towards the end of his seat with narrowed eyes. You mock gasp and he looks at you, suddenly distracted.

"I thought you hated me?" You pause to swallow the water in your mouth even though your tongue still hurts. "I thought we had something special. Now it's just me and John. This is like straight out of the yaoi's. Now we're going to go fuck and leave you here, let's go John." You give John a slight push and he exits the booth and stands trying to look distraught and not really fucking amused.

"Yeah Dave, let's ditch this loser and have the quality fucking of a lifetime. You never satisfied me the way Dave can Carcin! It's over." After you stand up, John links elbows with you and starts heading towards the door. In pain or not, you can't help the partial smug grin you have as John tries not to laugh.

Carcin sighs exaggeratedly while Fef is losing it at the counter. You're pretty sure the only reason you didn't walk out of there with (holy fuck gorgeous) John is because two girls walk in before you and John can leave. So John breaks down, leaning against the back of a chair as he dies from laughter. You maybe look down and admire his plush rump but who's to say you did? No one is who.

Eventually, you do go sit down again and John sits beside you again. It's kind of nice other than the fact that you're trying really hard to ignore your heated tongue and the urge to ask him to fuck you over the table. Him sitting beside you and leaving absolutely no space whatsoever between you both makes it even harder. He's just ridiculously warm and you can smell his aftershave.

What have you done to deserve such punishment?

"You didn't seriously say all of those things did you?" You're the first to speak since you've sat back down and both of the other two males look slightly surprised by it.

"No."

"Liar. He so did. Ma-ybe not all of the last part, but he did say that stuff!" John nods his head in further confirmation.

"So what if I did? You do walk around naked, and you do keep me up rapping." Carcin nurses his coffee in his hands though he looks like he might consider breaking something and it's the only thing holding him back.

"You think I need to get laid."

"No. Well yeah. But that's not the point here." You raise an eyebrow and lean against an elbow on the table.

"You my dear friend, are an asshole. A straight up asshole. A really tight and gross asshole that probably is also really hairy and talks to you when you shit." John's mouth is partially open and he looks torn between laughing and making a disgusted face while Carcin looks downright offended.

"Take that back."

"Never. You and your talking anus are on my shit list now." The pun seems to decide what each of the other two males do. John cackles, smacking the table in amusement while Carcin's grip on his cup gets tighter. "So are you insinuating that by me getting laid, I'll stop rapping? Or that I'll be quieter? Because as someone who is the epitome of chill, I am offended."

"You better hope I don't lock you out of the apartment."

"Oo, cold. I didn't realize our break-up hurt that bad." Carcin sits calmly for a second before he's flailing spastically. "Yo, dude, calm down." You stand as much as you can and lean across the table to pat the Iranian's face until he calms the fuck down.

"I hate you so much you know." Carcin drops his head against the table with a painful sounding thunk.

"Yeah I know." When you turn to look at John, he's wiping a tear from his eye with the most amused expression.

"You both are giant losers. Look out, this trains docked in losertown, Indiana. Better watch out because you two are the biggest. Losers. Ever."

"I am in no way, shape, or form a loser. Carcin? Yeah. Me? I'm just a free spirit floating through the wind of hot damn and let me tap that." John 'pfft's, eyes rolling.

"Sure Dave, sure." John grins again and runs his fingers through his hair, "I better get back to work. I mean 'work'. I'll talk to you losers later. Try not to get any lamer while I'm gone!" John stands up then and heads towards the counter to talk to Fef and Jake before disappearing again.

"I want to bang him but I also kind of want to hold his hand." You turn your head back to look at Carcin. Carcin just looks at you with an annoyed and vaguely tired expression.

"I know Dave. Maybe I shouldn't tell you the good news though, because you're kind of a giant asshole and I hate you." You perk at that and lean forward, dropping your shades down the bridge of your nose in the slightest so the Strider Interrogation Look has full effect.

"Tell me or I'm rapping naked in the living room tonight." Carcin sighs and rubs his temples for a moment.

"Don't do that or I'll call the police. But I guess just so you don't actually think about doing that-"

"Too late, imagined doing it SO hard."

"...John's the art minor. And he told me how he'd be one of the models for some sort of anatomy drawing class or something. But like, a nude one. I guess I'm only telling you this is because I've gotta know one thing." You raise an eyebrow, though your stomach does a little flop at the information.

"I'm going to find out if he's hung." Carcin stares at you for approximately five seconds before leaning back with an exhale.

"This is why we're friends Dave." You squint.

"This is my mission now. But no nudes. I am not into that shit man." Carcin almost makes a sound of frustration.

"No, you cannot not show me Strider. This is the most important god damn thing to ever happen. I need to see for myself."

"Then ask him to drop his pants for you. Not that hard." He glares at you for a good solid chunk of time before giving up and aggressively drinking his coffee. You finally feel up to trying again and promptly take a swig of your own. The tip of your tongue burns at the heat, but you aren't dying so you swallow it.

"Whatever. He's probably not even that impressive. But we should probably get going soon. I'm not walking home in thirty degree weather when it's dark out." You roll your eyes and shrug.

"Which is code for you already have dicks at your command. But okay. Yeah, I guess let's leave." You make to get out of the booth and wait until Carcin joins you. As you head towards the door, he nudges you with his elbow.

"What?"

"You're not going to give him your number?" Carcin wiggles his eyebrows at you.

"What, no way man. I hardly even know the guy. I mean sure, I kind of want to jump his dick and do many, many kinky ass things with him but I'm not giving him my number." The Iranian pauses just inside of the door before screeching 'look out John, Dave's coming for your dick' before taking off down the sidewalk.

You smell murder.

It's his luck that he gets to the complex before you and disappears before you can properly beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Instead you go to your apartment and lock the door once you're inside. Then you turn left into the doorway to the kitchen and move over to the fridge to find something to eat.

Looking out of the almost window in the wall, the living room is in fact unoccupied. So you pull out a hot pocket and pop it in the microwave so you can turn on the tv while it cooks. There's nothing in particular that catches your interest, so you leave it on some cartoon with colorful character that have gems or whatnot as you go back to get your finished hot pocket.

Nearly at the end of the episode of what you learn is Steven Universe (you're not already into this show, no way) there's a knock at the door. You figure it's probably Carcin, so you stand up and unlock the door then open it. You raise an eyebrow in confusion at the (holy shit huge) tall guy standing in front of you.

"I'm sorry to disturb you at this time, but is Carcin here?"

"No, sorry dude. He's on a date and I'm pretty sure they're fucking in a back alley or something, seemed pretty serious. Why, what do you need him for?" The guy adjusts his rectangular shades and clears his throat awkwardly. You can see a bit of a sweat sheen on his forehead and wonder if he had been like that when you answered the door.

"Oh. Well, my apologies. I'll just contact him another time. Thank you for your help." The guy looks vaguely uncomfortable as he stands in the hall and okay, maybe not best of judgment, but you shake your head and hold up a hand.

"Nah dude, just come in. I'm sure he'll be back soon." The guy seems to give it a thought before stepping forward until he's just inside the doorway. "Uh. Like all the way in. You can go sit on the couch if you want. I'm just watching some cartoons." When the guy finally steps in all of the way, you close the door and eye him warily as he heads towards the couch.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I won't be long." You shrug even though the guy has his back to you. He sits on the couch and you join him by flopping into your spot.

After the show ends, the guy shuffles awkwardly on the couch and wipes at his forehead with the back of his hand. You look at him with a vaguely creeped out expression before neutraling back out.

"So how do you know the crab meister?" The guy looks taken aback by the question and clears his throat.

"Classes. He is in my cultural studies class. We were assigned to study each other's social and cultural backgrounds. For his I am, yet not quite surprised." That makes you even more confused and you can't help the slightly offended clearing of your own throat.

"Yeah me either, but why aren't you surprised?"

"Well, he has the commanding authority of someone with the purest of a bloodline, but seeing as he comes from lower class in the Middle East it is not surprising that he would live in a place...such as this. Compared to my pure Egyptian lineage, I obviously have a higher ranking social and wealth class."

"Ah." You nod as if everything in the world makes sense now. Thank god when Carcin stumbles in looking breathless.

"Equius? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"The real question is why you would leave this poor, poor man alone and confused in this terrible old building to go have fun by yourself?" Equius dude looks like he's busted another gasket because he's sweating a bit more obviously now and looks rather uncomfortable.

"I didn't do anything that fun honestly. But that doesn't explain why you're here?" His question is pointed at Equius, who's risen and walked stiffly towards the door.

"I am sorry that I came on such short notice. I thought it might be proper to discuss more on our class assignment." Carcin shakes his head and sighs.

"No you can stay here for a little bit. I did actually want to talk to you about some things." Equius is quiet for a moment as Carcin pulls off his scarf and coat.

"I-is that a command?" You are getting more and more creeped out by the minute honestly.

"Sure I guess. Just go wait in my bedroom. It's the one to the left hall." Carcin nods in the direction and watches as muscular dude bumbles towards it looking a bit red in the face. You mouth a 'hot date you got there' and your roommate flips you off.

You watch as he disappears into the kitchen then comes back and heads towards his room with something that looks vaguely like a glass of milk.

"Oh," Carcin shifts his weight from his forward foot back to his back one to look at you, "and don't decide tonight is the night for naked rapping in the living room because I'm sure you don't want to see what happens when big guy sees that." He lifts his eyebrows in a single, suggestive way before moving forward again towards his room.

Not creepy at all.

You finish watching all of the Steven Universe that's showing on the television for the night before heading to your own room. You empty your pockets and put your things from your bed onto your desk before flopping onto it with a sigh.

For a while you draw in one of your many sketchbooks but decide you're actually getting tired and stand up so you can strip. You tug your sweatshirt back on before climbing into your bed properly and shut off your light.

You'd probably wake up early or sleep brokenly but that was the norm by now. You just try not to dwell too much on all of the things going on and how you're going to be starting your drawing class soon now that it's starting up (after having been cancelled indefinitely due to the teacher getting into some shit).

With a bit of time and effort, you do manage to fall asleep dreamlessly for a few hours before you're up again. You're pretty sure you're going to need brain bleach after having left your room to piss and hearing things you don't exactly want to hear coming from the other side of the apartment.

You end up back in bed with your headphones on and your music blasting just to try and drown out the sounds you had heard. Add that to the list of things you don't ever want to experience again ever.

Somehow that turns your thoughts to classes again and then to John and how you are having serious conflicting emotions about how you want to fuck him or take him on a date and be his best friend. With a sigh you realize,

you're a giant homo (you already knew that).

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Art class has finally begun. God, this is going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been like five thousand years ;; so sorry. And this chapter is super short but I wanted to post something because it seriously has been forever and I'm still working on this but school's kind of taken over my life. But we have a four day weekend so maybe I'll get started on some more. (Send me love because I need it)

Holy shit you hate mornings more than anything in the world. Including spiders. Okay, maybe not spiders. But you really hate mornings.

You groan and sluggishly roll over on your bed so you can search the blankets for your phone. It's hard to hear what with the music still playing in your ears, but you can hear it alright anyway. With a sigh of relief, you find your phone and shut the alarm off before lying face down on your bed as the sun streams in through your window.

For a brief moment you contemplate just staying in bed until you absolutely have to leave, but decide that probably won't end well and anyway you've got your anatomy drawing class for the first time all semester anyway, so you're kind of excited actually. Though at the same time you're also kind of pissed off because it's scheduled as your first class of the day so you usually have that free, but with the class starting back up you don't. But that's besides the point.

You put your arms beneath you and push up until your torso is off of the bed and you stare down at your blankets with the most unamused expression you can muster. After your back's cracked and you feel a little more awake, you sit back on your legs.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually get out of bed and change clothes so you can go to the kitchen and find breakfast. It's almost unusually quiet considering the epic dick that is Carcin doesn't have class until 11 so he doesn't have to get up yet while you still stagger around at 9.

"Such a fucking asshole." You glare halfheartedly towards his bedroom door which is uncharacteristically closed compared to almost always being open. You're too tired to care why though, so you find cereal and eat it. You eat the shit out of that god damn great cereal (and maybe perhaps don't almost fall asleep in it). Finally, though, you make yourself some coffee and can actually feel the reasons for living seep into your body, so you make an effort to finish getting ready so you can leave.

After you've managed to stagger around for a little longer to brush your teeth and try and look somewhat presentable, you grab your bag and stuff everything you need in it before heading out while being sure to throw one last glance towards Carcin's shut bedroom door.

As soon as you're outside of the apartment you feel almost infinitely more awake and simultaneously infinitely more pissed off. The reason for said pissiness is the fact that it's like 20 degrees out and already your balls are shriveling into pinto beans and crawling into your body. You can't even smoke when it's this cold out because if you do you'll lose a lung between your personal cancer in a stick and it simply kicking the bucket and freezing inside of your body. Which, in your opinion, is not exactly the way you want to go. So you just pull your scarf over practically your entire face and glare at the sidewalk cursing New York weather.

A solid ten minutes later you're in the school, your balls have chanced a peek outside of your body, and life no longer seems purposeless because you're on your way to your art class for the literal first time this semester.

During a school tour for freshman before the semester had started you got the chance to see where your anatomy class was at, and you're finally getting to go there to go to the actual class. It's still a little strange though when you head down the art wing hallway. You even end up just standing and staring at the open door, still a little disbelieving.

A hand suddenly claps you hard on the back and you nearly lose your cool. But it's just Terri Z, a cool ass motherfucker who's supposed to be in the anatomy class too, saying hello. "Whoa-ho-ho. Look who it is. I haven't seen you around for a while coolkid." With a smirk and another hard clap to your back Terri says, "Looks like they dropped the case on ol' Mr. Noir huh? I hear his dashing good looks and maybe a few dozen guns and knives got him out of it." Terri snickers loudly before ditching you to enter the room, once again leaving you to just stare at the doorway like it's going to swallow you whole if you get any closer.

Finally you _have_ to go into the room because if you don't you're going to get even more odd stares and on top of that be late. Which really, neither you care for, so you walk into the room and find yourself nodding your head. The room is large and rather spacious for the things in it. There are a number of chairs around a circular, slightly raised stage in the center of the room, as well as windows high up on the walls so you can't look through them just by standing, but allow plenty of light. There are also a few skylights and you feel right at home pretty quickly.

You're a little surprised by the number of people in the large room to be so few, although a couple of them are in the small office near the entrance way that you assume is probably your teacher's room, which features large windows on two walls that face into the room. Enough with gawking.

A few of the people you recognize from the campus tour or the first day of classes, but a majority of the people you see you don't know at all. So with that you opt to go hang near Terri who's chatting it up with a very scary and strong looking, yet tiny, Asian girl. Huh. Not someone you expected Terri to hang with, especially considering she's a tough nut black girl from the slums in good old Detroit. But the two seem friendly so what the hell, you sit in a chair by Terri and listen in on their little conversation which seems to be heating up.

The Asian girl's eyes widen and light up, her expression in disbelief. "No way! I bet you twenty that Reins wins the fight."

Then Terri gawks and shakes her head. "I'm putting my money on Janson. And for that, make it thirty and you're on." With a smirk from both girls, they shake hands while maintaining some fierce eye contact. You quickly decide you no longer really need to talk to anyone right now and sit and stare at the center stage. You just do that, sitting and staring for a while until a bell (more like one singular tone signaling your loss of freedom) rings, then a tall slim fellow is stepping onto the stage all the while looking rather put off at actually having to be there, you assume, and tells everyone to shut up.

"As you know for the past few weeks there's been a little investigation on me.” The guy does this creepily sly grin then as he looks around the room. “Well it's been dropped due to circumstances I'm not at liberty to say, and this pathetic class I call my job is officially up and running. I'll just make things really easy for you children and give you some rules. One, shut up. Just shut up. I don't care and I don't want to hear it. So shut it. Two, no one is to be in my office without permission. Follow those two simple rules and I'm sure we'll get along just fine." Noir turns on his heel doing a 180 and mumbles to himself as stalks off of the stage. "Oh, and the model or whatever will be up there momentarily. Go crazy and do whatever." Then he's gone into his office and drawn shades down over his windows, leaving you to puzzle over whether or not you're life's at stake in this class.

After that crazy little speech everyone sits in near silence while awaiting the model (but moreso fearing Noir's punishment for breaking rule one). Just as you're about to pull out your phone and start playing some stupid ass game, someone pads up to the stage, drags a wooden stool to the center and sits themself down on it, so everyone's starting to pull out their drawing mediums. Except you.

You're startled to be seeing John again even though Carcin told you that John is a model for this class. But you're still startled, and even more considering John is facing in your direction and smiling at you. You’re pretty sure he even winks. So to combat the sudden immense embarrassment you feel, you look left and right before pulling out your sketchbook along with an H, 2B, 3B, and a 2H pencil, as well as a kneaded eraser.

By the time you actually look up John's looking around the room with this stupidly smug grin like having thirteen people stare at his junk is same-old, same-old.

"Alright, so I'm John Egbert, I'm 20 and I'm a biology major and art minor. I don't know if anyone has had a class before where they've had live models, but how I do it is probably more relaxed than most classes. I don't stand and flex for an hour and a half, so don't even bother asking. But I do allow suggestions as to poses and do talk during the modelling. So if no one has any questions let's get down to it."

Holy.

Fucking. 

No.

John fucking Egbert has a package like no other. Seriously, you’re trying hard not to stare, but you can’t seem to take your eyes off of his junk. And to think your first impression with the guy was you burning the fuck out of your tongue like a total moron. Seriously. Between your crazy fucking teacher and Egbert, you're not sure if you'll survive one partial of a semester in this class. And he doesn't even seem at all sorry. John just picks some random pose of standing with his arms all crisscrossed above him like no other. And suddenly the notion of ever being a live model makes you want to get a ladder, climb up to the windows and jump out. How in the ever loving hell is someone supposed to hold their arms above their head all bent everywhere like that for an hour and a half without dying? Yet somehow John Egbert does it and you draw him like the good fucking student you are, all the while taking time to stare for overtly long durations of time at John's rear end.

After a while you stop being so distracted by the wonderfully plush looking butt and well defined body in front of you to actually get into the drawing. John does talk, sparsely, but he does have small chatter with a few of the other people in your class, though you try hard to ignore in case you end up blurting something stupid. Plus it's distracting to your drawing.

It looks like you're going left handed for the day which you guess is cool, so you let your right hand hold the large pad of paper still against the easel, turning it this way and that, holding the eraser, and measuring proportion accuracy via thumb length. It's actually beginning to be pretty fun, even going so far as to be considered relaxing. God you've needed this class for a while.

Eventually time starts to catch up, leaving only about ten minutes left in class. That's when Terri figures rule numero uno no longer applies. "Yo, Blue-raspberry bubble butt." The name makes a few people stop mid pencil stroke to stare at Terri and then at John at such an odd exchange or hold back gut busting laughter.

"Don't come too close with those glasses or you might just pop it. What up?" John replies, seemingly amused by the nickname himself.

Terri, having put her sketchbook away, inclines her head with a snicker and shrugs. "Just wondering how you ended up with such a fine _derriere_ being so light skinned." At that John seems a little taken aback but shrugs as well.

"I'm Filipino if that helps, but you know how it is. If you're blessed with it, you're blessed with it." He pauses a moment, seeming to consider. "Aren't you the chick who told me it was clear to go one time and nearly got me killed by a speeding car?" Terri, who has nearly busted a gut laughing, stops a moment, makes a sound close to a wheeze, then starts busting a gut again as she nods. "Mhm. Thanks for that, by the way. Never got to thank you." John rolls his eyes and returns his head to its original position to endure the last six or so minutes in silence.

At that point people start to just go ahead and pack up, including you, until the (prison) dismissal bell rings again, signaling the fifteen minutes of freedom before another class. You’ve been to your next class before so you know that it’s near enough you can probably hang back for a minute or two to talk to John.

“Yo, John.” You stand up and shoulder your bag before walking up to him. He’s already got a pair of shorts on and a tee shirt (somehow the thought of him commando _and_ in shorts makes you feel bad rather than just turned on) and he’s pulling on socks and a pair of sneakers.

When he looks up he’s all bright smiles and bubbly personality, reminding you of yesterday at that coffee place. “Hey Dave. You alright? You’re looking a little bit red in the face there.” John continues to beam with that stupid grin of his while you rub one of your cheeks with your hand.

“Must just be warm in here.” You shrug.

“Oh yeah, definitely. What is it, like 60 degrees in here?” John laughs then and stands up after finishing lacing his shoes. “Where you going to next?” As soon as John’s shouldered his bag, you both start heading towards the door.

“Classical music theory and composition. What about you?”

John shrugs his shoulders, stuffing his hands into his pockets and turns his head towards you. You hadn’t noticed it yesterday, but John’s about your height if not taller. “Sounds cool. I’m going to biology where I will endure the longest two hours of my life with Carcin sitting next to me and ragging on me for not sending him dick pics.” At that you both roll your eyes, but for a moment at least you’re both heading in the same direction.

“He just never stops. But I mean, after that I can see why he might actually want to see what you’re packing.” This is definitely not the time to pop a boner while the person you’re talking to’s dick is currently occupying all of your thoughts.

John shoves you a little with his shoulder and lets out a laugh. “Seriously? Don’t tell me you’re going to start being weird, cause you actually seem cool enough to hang out with even though you’re super lame.” You scoff a little before cuffing John in the arm. And despite his small protest and ouch in response, you can feel the muscles that lie underneath his shirt quite easily. You're fairly surprised his arms are so hard considering they don't look all that muscular from what you remember. Then again you _were_ staring mostly at places much lower than the arms.

“You’re the only lame one here. I happen to be the coolest person to have ever graced your presence, so you better hope I don’t just waltz away right now.” John continues to rub his arm for a second while flipping you off and sticking his tongue out.

“Man you wish. But, I mean, if you _are_ as cool as you say you are, you should stop by my work again tonight and we can see just how cool you are.” John starts to head down another hallway after smirking at you then stops abruptly and turns back around. “Oh, and I’ll make sure I save you some ice.” John keeps walking after that while you just stand there stupidly.

“Cool, but I don’t think I’ll need it.” As John walks away you can’t help but to take one more glance at his backside. “Yo, Terri’s right. You have got one damn fine bubble butt.” You get the finger once more from over John’s shoulder, along with a few stares from people as they walk by. But you seriously don’t care about any of that and end up partially grinning all the way to your class.

Okay, it's not like you're deliberately trying to be a dickface here, but your mind is so far away from the  current lecture your teacher is giving on the significance of music in literature. It's not even like you're not interested in that, because you are, but you just can't focus. All you can think about is how long until you can get out of here and possibly get a chance to hang out (flirt) with John and learn more about him. And if that doesn't just spell trouble.

You figure since every single apocalyptic story can survive with fast infatuation and love then it's probably not _that_ bad that you've known John a day and already want to blow him and buy him flowers. And for you, Mr. Has-Dated-Literally-One-And-A-Half-People, this is kind of new and strange territory. At least Bro isn't here to ridicule you. He might be your brother, and you might love him, but he is the biggest jackass to have ever walked the face of the earth, you swear to God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and critiques would be especially wonderful. Otherwise have a wonderful Valentine's day and enjoy my shitty writing and hopefully read some much better, more quality writing elsewhere uvu;;

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked that first chapter of the rewrite. I'll try to update weekly. If sooner I will. But don't expect too much of a schedule yet because I do still have marching band. You can follow my main blog keeblochan.tumblr.com and/or my davejohn blog hellagaydave.tumblr.com (which I love to get your head canons and I will generally write or draw something for it.) Otherwise, any and all feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy your summer!


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